Time to Rant.

A little rant needed …

I just feel the need to have a rant today.  I am feeling a bit fed up.  I am fed up with my ‘hurdles’ that I face in life and me being me, tend to keep them bottled up.  Well, not today.  I am going to type some of them and vent … I need to.  

I am a 38 year old, who has worked bloody hard.  I have got 9 GCSEs and 3 A’Levels.  I have got 2 degrees.  Why do people look astonished when I say I am a teacher … and think I have become a teacher without having to work REALLY hard.  I love, love my job.  BUT it is tiring.  Imagine having no sound in your life and you have to rely on facial expressions, body language all the time, don’t you think you would be a bit (a tiny bit) tired?

I have been thinking about a few things that I personally struggle with and I just feel I need to share…

Correcting my speech.
So, as I mispronounce a word, they think the appropriate response is to laugh or correct me (when they think they are being helpful).  I know when I do not say something right and when this is the case I will ask for help on how to say it correctly.  As this requires concentration and being in the right frame of mind. 
Forgetting, of course, that since I don’t hear so well, I may not have heard quite how a word should sound.  Hearing people have the sounds around them all the time, TV, Spoken word, radio etc.  It’s a silent world for me. 
It’s embarrassing, but we deaf people can’t help it.  I would prefer it if you didn’t laugh and attempt to correct me.  We did the speech therapy. It helped, but clearly, it didn’t fully work.
Let’s move on.


Looking away while communicating
Hearing people look everywhere when I talk to them.
It feels as if my conversation isn’t interesting enough, they scan the room for other people who might have arrived. They glance at their iPhones in case they have a new message. Or they just stare at the blank wall behind you.  So … sometimes, I think why bother trying to engage in a conversation with them. 
I have to look at you.  It might be a bit awkward, but I need to look at your face.  Because I lip-read, I have to focus hard on people’s lips (sorry if this makes you uncomfortable. by the way, it is not intentional).
Because I am trying to work out what you’re saying, I can’t switch off.
Because I am deaf, we’re forced to really LISTEN.
I give you my full attention.
Why not give me yours?


Assuming
Don’t assume… that all deaf people are the same.
Some use sign language, and some lipread and some talk. Some like to use a sign language interpreter. 
Don’t assume… that because I got everything you said one day I will hear everything you say the next.
We might be in a noisy place. You might speak less clearly. I might be tired, from, listening to you all day yesterday.
Don’t assume… you’re cleverer than us because we occasionally mishear something.  I hate abbreviations because I do not ge them and like to have it all in a sentence.  It is not because I am daft, it is just the way I am .  I do not remember everything you say.  You are listening and writing the dates in your diaries.  I have to look at my interpreter and process what is being said and BAM, I have forgotten what it is I am meant to write down.  That is not my fault and please do not make me feel I am wasting your time asking you to recap. 


I feel stupid quite often and feel I am doing things wrong.  The expectation that I SHOULD know what is happening because it has be spoken about.  Well, I did not hear and I need it to be written down or it might be nice if someone made the effort to come and find me and tell me face to face. 
You might be cleverer than me, you might not. You won’t know from judging how quickly I make sense of something you say. Please do not make assumptions.  

I feel better that I have put this onto my blog.  But then again, who will read this and think – I might have to change the way I am with Deaf people.  I wonder? 

Anyway, like I always say.  Any questions about what I write please feel free to ask.  I do not bite … sometimes! 



Take care, speak soon. Faye x